Cast List (Pyrogenic IRL)

I'm 20 mins into the video and my number one question so far is simple: which celebrity plays Cryogenic !?

I refuse to watch. I'm not comfortable with demystifying the idea that lays behind Pyrogenic. He must eternally remain an enigma, an unsolved puzzle, an unending maze, by the will of the Force.

Also, the Pokemon hat gives the impression that this man is determined to catch and catalog all of the celebrity doppelgangers. Well, the video itself does that, but the hat sure emphasize that impression ever more.

Or maybe it's because we're the same person. Duh!



I was not long ago contemplating buying this book, as well:

www.amazon.co.uk/Nom-Plume-Secret-History-Pseudonyms/dp/0061735272

Relax, relax -- that was a joke!!! Not the last part, though. I am genuinely interested in that book.

But yeah, what the hell, man? We're both on there. On "The Book". We're so meta! Geddit?

This may be the first time I've ever seen Pyrogenic and I referred to as "boomers", singularly or collectively.

Maybe my/our definition of "boomer" needs revising. No, wait, I got it... Uh oh, big booma!

Okay, I can tolerate being called a booma. It's next-level boomer shit. Booma, booma, booma. Ooba, ooba, ooba. 

You know, when I joined Facebook, I figured it was mostly for people around my age (and Pyro's). That's honestly what the landscape of Facebook looked like back then. Nerds, murderers, thieves, drunken college kids, the occasional hot chick, and so on. Isn't it still like that? Alright, I'll concede that the average age now looks to be mid-30s. My God, we're old. Actually, yeah, I've seen quite a broad range of ages on there, but I think it genuinely had more younger people on it to begin with; then everyone began ageing and older people somehow started registering. And now it's just got this has-been quality to it. But, for all its flaws and limitations, I still like it the best. Although I rarely post anything publicly anymore after they aggressively pushed these bullshit "Community Guidelines" on everyone (and most people just rolled over like the obedient dogs they are). It's actually revolting. There was very little censorship until the fascist left started pushing for it and finally getting their way about five years ago (intensifying once the COVID pandemic started). The paradox is that Facebook is more lively and diverse, in some ways, than it's ever been; yet there's this entire continent of unsaid and partially-said things because you are literally punished in some way if you say them. Imagine going into bear country and the bears spray you with bear spray. That's the level of bullshit that has overtaken Facebook. Yet I'm still on there like an idiot. And so is Pyro. Then again, if he's on there, so must I be. And vice versa. Feels like the two of us make a pair, and we're like Atlas, holding up the sky or something. If we leave that platform, it vanishes instantly. Like dividing the universe by zero.

Wait, so... the actual thread topic...

I think this isn't really the place to disclose my thoughts. Not because of censorship, just because it's Pyro, and we're close, and it's better that I disclose my thoughts privately. Pyro is truly, well (word pun incoming)... pyretic. In that he's feverish, but in something of a non-fiery, kind-of-freezy (Cryo?) way instead. You see what I mean? Watch that video. Pyro clearly believes in what he's saying. He has mad passion for his project. He's like Richard Dreyfuss in "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" -- driven, obsessed, maybe a tad unkempt, but also Obi-Wan detached, reasoned, phlegmatic, cool. Pyro is like Moses. He seems to be trying to beseech God to reveal himself atop the mountain. Pyro has beaten the video game and all he got was some crappy end-credits sequence and less-than-inspiring victory music at the end. You know, that shit satisfies you for a moment or two, but then you realise you had more fun trying to beat the game. That old cliche.

What's left for Pyro? Hopefully, he's going to enter a new chapter of his life. Like George Lucas. Or as Bill Murray says in "Caddyshack": "A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one — big hitter, the Lama — long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-lagunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.” And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.” So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice." Pyro's got that goin' for him, which is nice.

But wait, Pyro's probably like... "I already received total consciousness. LOL." 

That's the problem with Pyro. He's incredibly hard to buy Christmas presents for.

You know what? Cryo summed it up pretty well with, "Pyro has beaten the video game and all he got was some crappy end-credits sequence and less-than-inspiring victory music at the end," unless that something-I'm-missing-piece shows up unexpectedly. I worked so hard on that list. It's structured like:

Person (from life) ... Person (from art)

Over 1,000 of those. It's like 24+ pages long.

Mimesis of the cast & crew.

It's true - I'm performing some sort of ancient ritual in modern times. But I've never seen a table of correspondences this accurate. Nor have I seen anyone else...do this...in this context. Mind-boggling. I'll figure it out someday.

What did I just watch?